identity.

a hole beneath my ribs.,
nestled, comfortably, against my spine,
eating at the back fo my eyes,
making home in my throat.

so all i ever feel is empty.
all you'll ever see will be empty.
all i'll ever say will be empty.

you were my identity. 
i found the meaning of cozy in us.
you, the meaning of secure
in my arms
and in my trust.

i found my rescue badge in your eyes,
found my pass port in your wallet,
found my identity in the plane seat next to you on the day of your leaving.
left my weeping.
left my sacrifice.
left your owed goodbye to me
somewhere on the side of the highway.

left me to months of praying & begging.
the only lullaby  i knowi s my own saltwater,
over used, and evaporated
all of me, has evaporated.

left me to a hole,
left me to a cave.
left me to be the ash of what once was.

it seems,
by the light of your cigarette,
your lungs weren't the only things you were poisoning.