he tells me
he can't.
it is christmas eve.
and he is not sleeping.
in a shared room of dresser dividers and walls made of bed sheets.
i know this isn't ten year old excitement.
he's just breathing.
i notice absense of snoring
through my television static
ask him the question.
he tells me
he can't.
he feels
like he isn't alive.
regardless of his breathing.
he tells me
he can't.
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